- ‘No you can’t have any painkillers. You should have taken some for your mild bellyache before calling for an emergency ambulance’ #
- I have just escaped being trapped in someone’s home. It was like a Stephen King novel. #
- I should put a sign around my neck. ‘Whimpering does not instill sympathy in me’. Too many patients have been doing that this shift. #
- Why do people insist on calling me for a maternataxi just as I’m nodding off for five minutes? #
- OK. I know NHS is free at point of delivery, but we should be charging top rate cab fares for these runs. #
- Night shift number one of three now over. Laying in bed thinking of my brother trudging in to work. And laughing. #
- @gfriese I shall be trying to stick that in my documentation later tonight… #
- Another night shift starts. First job was a taxirun from one hospital to another. I thought it was private firms which did that? #
- Few things make me happier than seeing an obnoxious wanker arrested. But then he made me sad by puking in the back of the ambulance. #
- I don’t tlike the smell of whiskey, even before it’s been swilling around in someone’s stomach. #
- @BrettKellett That’s because you *are* old… #
- @BrettKellett Remember sitting in Your bedroom eating KitKats watching the Stop Making Sense concert video? #
- And after scraping up the vomit… Time for a pot noodle while the ambulance dries. #
- @yellowspanner I like Red Bull. #
- @beccaviola Oh yes, but this patient didn’t. Still, easy job and a nice patient. #
- @yellowspanner I prefer Relentless and Rockstar for much the same reason. #
- @yellowspanner I get the palpitations if I don’t drink caffiene. #
- Waiting for the police to come and assist us with ‘Mental health patient, off meds, violent and aggressive’. #
- ‘Caller is scared of patient’. Yep. Definitely waiting for the police. Some chatter about weapons as well. Joy. #
- Thing is, the way we are dispatched these days meant we very nearly walked obliviously into the middle of it all. #
- @beccaviola The impression I got was ‘wrong box ticked’ #
- ‘Patient has knives and screwdrivers with him’. Nice… #
- Turns out that the patient is neither armed nor aggressive. His mum just wants him out of her house. *shrug* #
- @ordinal Aye. Eventually. Never mind, I’ve not been killed to death yet. Mostly because I am both clever and cowardly. A good combination. #
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