Twitter Updates for 2010-08-28

August 28th, 2010
  • @Suw @tom_watson @bengoldcare They certainly send a lot of twaddle to the ambulance service. #
  • And He spent that day laundering socks and undergarments, for in that land slavery had been outlawed. And He was displeased. #
  • @davidwebb_uk New event, repeat, custom, on the… http://twitpic.com/2iqebr #
  • He girded his loins and in this bravery did He descend unto the land of Rom’s Ford. Down amongst the poor and the wretched and the drunk. #
  • @davidwebb_uk …neither had I until someone showed it to me. #
  • Did He not, on that night, see one of the tribe of Chav attack a man unprovoked. And on seeing no one hurt He tutted loudly. #

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Twitter Updates for 2010-08-28

August 28th, 2010
  • @Suw @tom_watson @bengoldcare They certainly send a lot of twaddle to the ambulance service. #
  • And He spent that day laundering socks and undergarments, for in that land slavery had been outlawed. And He was displeased. #
  • @davidwebb_uk New event, repeat, custom, on the… http://twitpic.com/2iqebr #
  • He girded his loins and in this bravery did He descend unto the land of Rom’s Ford. Down amongst the poor and the wretched and the drunk. #
  • @davidwebb_uk …neither had I until someone showed it to me. #
  • Did He not, on that night, see one of the tribe of Chav attack a man unprovoked. And on seeing no one hurt He tutted loudly. #

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Twitter Updates for 2010-08-27

August 27th, 2010
  • And after nearly a week of silence He did finally speak again, though his brain be running over with new knowledge. #
  • This was the first day the He held a man’s testicles in his hands for reasons unconnected with self defence. #
  • And He did roll them around and give them a squeeze and he found them pleasing to his hand though there was something there that was unknown #
  • But it was a friendly unknown, and not something dark and hideous. These glad tidings were given to his patient. #
  • @blowdart Well, ‘other’ didn’t fit in there… #
  • On this night He asked of his followers, ‘Is there truly no way to set up ‘last Tue of every month’ as a repeating event in iCal?’ #
  • For He was mightily vexed, as was in His nature. #
  • @rscorer @aljones27 Thanks for that – just goes to show how tired I must be… #

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First Week

August 27th, 2010

Wow.

My brain overfloweth.

The new workplace is lovely, the staff are nice, I have a lovely boss and there is a real opportunity to deal with patients and make them happier and healthier.

It’s pretty much perfect.

—–

Well, I say it’s perfect – but there is but one pubic hair on the bar of soap of pure awesomeness.

All the patient notes that I make are typed straight into a computer, it is a paperless office (apart from the information leaflets that we give to the patients). I have no problem with that as, surprisingly enough, I’m quite happy around computers.

The problem is… It’s all Windows systems.

Urgh.

So there will be some retraining while I try to get used to typing on ‘cherry’ keyboards and remembering that the key commands are different from everything that I use at home.

Also, due to being unable to install any software I don’t think I can sync Outlook 2003’s calendar with Mobile Me/Google.

Oh, and the browser is IE6.

—–

More seriously though – I’m really looking forward to getting my teeth into working here, the boss is already trying to get me onto a week-long course for minor illnesses and I’m keeping my fingers crossed as it is apparently a really good one and gets me 35 points towards a degree (for my nursing is a lowly Dip(HE)).

I’ve another three weeks of being ’supernumerary’ which means following people around and generally learning things. For example today I learnt more about knee assessment than I have ever dreamt possible from a brilliant physiotherapist who is seconded to the Urgent Care Centre.

My day ended with another man’s testicles in my hands so I could examine them – which is a first for me as normally the only reason to have someone else’s testicles in my grasp is for the purposes of ’self defence’.

—–

While I’m only working eight hour shifts at the moment I’m finding that I’m more tired than twelve hours of ambulance work – I suspect it’s because my brain is, for the first time in ages, consuming huge amounts of energy while I take in both the formal learning and the more ’soft’ informal learning that is necessary when trying to integrate yourself into a new group of people.

So basically it’s all brilliant (apart from having to use Windows) and I am incredibly happy to have made the switch.

Twitter Updates for 2010-08-24

August 24th, 2010
  • On eating the roast pig for lunch, he bit into some crackling and let out a shout, ‘Why didn’t I change jobs years ago?!’ #
  • While His brain was taxed mightly, it was good that He was taxed for it was what He was looking for. #
  • @sizemore Zeitgiest? I have the same… ‘problem’. #

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Twitter Updates for 2010-08-23

August 23rd, 2010
  • On the morn that He would first go forth to heal the sick He spoke unto his followers, and the the words he spoke were, ‘Morning all’. #
  • But then He looked upon his belly, and it were as if He were a woman fat with child. and He thought, ‘It’s going to be a windy day’. #
  • And He was correct, and there was also rain. #
  • Many of His followers were kind of heart and wished Him well for this day, and this caused His soul to be lifted and He was grateful. #
  • (Though He were still somewhat windy). #
  • And then He saw the news http://bbc.in/cRmeOa and He did laugh merrily, for He knew that No Man knew difference ‘tween emergency and not. #
  • @cdibona Nope, I think you’ll find that honour goes to Casualty. #
  • And there came upon Him the filling out of the P46 form because the P45 had not yet been received. #
  • On the presentation of the ID badge there was much wailing and tearing of shirts for, lo, the picture made Him look like a hunchback. #
  • And then He ate of food that was Hot and Healthy. And without being rushed. And He was grateful. And so was His stomach. #

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Twitter Updates for 2010-08-22

August 22nd, 2010
  • And on that morrow did beery farts ring out across the hills and valleys of Dag’s land, while the prophet stumbled to his mum’s for stew. #
  • And the prophet did mumble that swallowing dispersible voltarol with beer doth make one a bit windy. (Book of Brian 5:12) #
  • And after he partook of three Sandwiches of Bacon, so did the prophet lay in repose like the swine in the sty. #
  • @germgirl It was a good night, and to answer your question… Until I get bored. #
  • @euan Ah, I call them ‘high entropy’ days. #
  • @Laura_ You got out of bed alright? That has to count for a win. #
  • @bungeechump You mean you drank all that beer for nothing? That’s a damn shame. #
  • @Laura_ You’ll be thankful for the bed in the back later… #
  • And once more the prophet was bedevilled by the anaemic flush of his brother’s toilet; but not as bedevilled as the next person to use it. #
  • @pawlu I was hoping that someone was going to write that. #
  • On that day He did shout angrily and pull at his shirt at ‘Click’ for calling a gamer a girl gamer. #
  • For ‘girls’ are among the chosen who may game. Though the genitals be different they shall not be held separate on Xbox Live. #
  • …and as He ranted, did not his followers roll their eyes and say, ‘Oh, there he goes. Off on One again’. #
  • On the eve of his New Work, long did He search for the proof of his birth by mortal parents, before finding it in the filing cabinet. #
  • …though it was only after some cursing the He found his name-change form behind the back of the sofa. #
  • …but this did not displease Him, for behind the sofa He also found a Mars Bar. So his curses died in His throat. As did the Mars Bar. #
  • @Vivdora That it is, and thank you very much. #
  • He also sought out two utility bills. He decided to settle for those not coloured red, for red is the colour of sleepless nights. #

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My Last Shift

August 22nd, 2010

I would like to start with an apology.

A little while ago, I asked the question ‘What is it that makes an ambulance’. I then went on to inform you that the only equipment that an ambulance requires is a defibrillator and a bag-valve-mask. I may have made the suggestion that this shows the priority that the LAS has on patient care.

But I must apologise, for I made a mistake.

You don’t need the defibrillator.

—–

Yes, on my final shift I found myself on an ambulance without a defibrillator, going to calls of elderly patients with chest pain. Then our tail lift stopped working, so there was no way to use the stretcher.

We we refused our request to go ‘unavailable’ in order to return to station in order to get replacement kit.

So the last shift continued my tradition of trying to give good healthcare despite management policies.

—–

The patients were also a fair mix of the normal sorts of patients I’ve spent the last eight years going to – a fall, a drunken and abusive alcoholic, a homeless chap with chest pain, a runny nose, and two hospital transfers.

My last call was for one of those transfers, an elderly chap that the doctors at a local hospital suspected was having a heart attack that we blue-lighted to the heart-attack centre.

They didn’t think that he was having a heart attack, but given his long, complicated and somewhat obscured medical history I still think that the local hospital did the right thing.

—–

So, no bangs, no whimpers, just a continuation of what my shift has been like since I joined the service.

I’m going to hold off on writing about my new job for a while until I get settled in a bit, I think that it’s important that I get the lay of the land, and besides, it’s better to reflect than immediately report.

I’ve still got a few things to write about the ambulance service sitting in my notepad, so that will keep me going for a bit.

(Plus I need to work on a new banner for the blog, maybe a new layout and who knows what else…)

Twitter Updates for 2010-08-21

August 21st, 2010
  • Finished. Thank fuck. #
  • @warrenellis Cheers fella, I’m just glad I wasn’t killed, making my crewmate go maverick in hunting down my killers with big guns and quips. #
  • @happymrlocust I’ve been jigging all week. Although I call it the ‘dance of victory’. #
  • @idle_paramedic Off a bit late, still – nevermind. #
  • @GraceHUNGH_ I suspect I may do the odd shift here and there, that and event cover. #
  • @GraceHUNGH_ Yep, but about what is yet to be decided. #
  • @DavidWaldock @jamrock *cough* that may be something I’m working on with the government… #
  • @iMedicFF I have a foldable keyboard that fits lovely with my steth in a cargo pocket. #
  • @iMedicFF Dropbox and Documents to Go work well for me. #
  • Much beer was drunk. And Lo, there was much putting right the wrongs of the NHS. And there was much agreement that managers were bastards. #
  • @GraceHUNGH_ *holds fingers about 2mm apart* That much? #
  • @MadamePinkness You could have joined my posse of women who put up with me in their life. #
  • Hark. And did the prophet of the age, declaring, ‘bugger this for a lark I give up’, slink off to bed to await a hangover on the morrow. #
  • @MadamePinkness Depends on the demands of the upcoming shifts…. #
  • @blowdart No, not in the slightest (actually not true, am currently making list of things I’ll miss) #
  • And so he did sleep most soundly, and scratch his bollocks, in the UnMade Bed because he had left his Laundry too late. #
  • (i think that I may continue to twitter in a mock religious book style – it’s rather fun). #
  • @MadamePinkness I have *no* *idea* what I’m doing from Monday – my calendar is one huge question mark. #

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Twitter Updates for 2010-08-20

August 20th, 2010
  • @happymrlocust Don’t forget the gaff a tape holding bits of it on… #
  • Time to get out of bed and start getting ready for my final LAS shift. #
  • @yellowspanner Oh God, in a few years don’t blame me… #
  • @pekingspring I may just do that…. #
  • Crewmate brought pizza, doughnuts and sweeties for last shift. Also card and a…teddy bear. #
  • Oh, and an eight pack of red bull. I do so love her. #
  • @germgirl Still massively painful, but hey-ho, what can you do? #
  • @germgirl I’m a good boy. I don’t drink heavily. Honest. #
  • Having leaving drinks tomorrow. Fox at Connaught bridge from six for those that are interested. http://j.mp/crt88c #
  • @Buckman I’m just trying to avoid slipping into a bad movie and getting killed so my crewmate can go maverick and hunt down my killers. #
  • Last shift, so I have not only managed to get my callsign wrong, but also to leave a defib at a hospital. Oops… #
  • Crewmate just managed to find the piece of popcorn she dropped down the inside of her shirt five hours ago. #
  • Yes, I did offer to have a root around in her shirt to find it for her… #
  • @Laura_ I can beat that. If I play then my right arm seizes up for a few weeks. #
  • @philcooper @alanfleming That’s why I have a kindle. Instant delivery, cheaper than iBookstore and readable on more machines. #
  • @alanfleming @philcooper DRM on ebooks does indeed suck for many, many reasons. #
  • @littlehalfpint Bet your patient might be happier at that than you… #
  • How strange. All the vast amounts of stress I’m under today are caused by management, not patients. #
  • According to LAS policy a defibrillator is an *optional* bit of kit for an ambulance. For some reason I disagree. #
  • @alanfleming @philcooper So, so true. #
  • @AndyRKett Nope I was incorrect. Just a BVM needed. #
  • @germgirl 2.54 hours. And counting. #
  • @germgirl What could I change in eight years? #
  • Just emptied out my locker. Two hours and fifteen minutes to go. No sadness at all. #
  • @MrAlmostBritish @bungeechump There are some metastudies from, I think, Singapore. Basically showing roadside clinical clearance is fine. #
  • @bungeechump @mralmostbritish @ross71521 But what happens if, like binding broken ribs, the drugs increase mortality? #
  • @bungeechump @mralmostbritish Since when has evidence led policy? #
  • @RealDMitchell As someone who deals with dementia patients -’Watson, I know’ had me tearing up. Thank you for that, very brave. #
  • @Buckman Oh I should imagine that won’t be too hard… #

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