Tom Reynolds

• Hahahaha killed the little bastard. Wired UK magazine being my weapon of choice. #
• Hmmm, trying to decide which tube station will be best for Blur tonight. #
• Thanks for the advice @vickysmithson #
• Waiting for a train to take me into Liverpool St. Last time I was there I had a lovely evening. One I doubt Blur alone can top. #
• @orgNewsUpdates Innocent in quotes? Ergh. #
• @brettkellett You aren’t missing much mate. #
• @secretlondon I agree, the question is, if interpretation is better, do #org have the resources to do it? #
• Realising that @billt was only about 200 yards away from me. #
• My audioboo thoughts on the Blur gig http://bit.ly/hVJ3X via @addthis #

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• @amcunningham have you tried looking at the MSF site? #
• Not with my normal crewmate, which is why I’ve done more trauma this morning than I have in the past six months. #
• I am getting fed up with this swine flu bollocks. #
• I mean, we don’t do all this pallaver with the normal (and more deadly) flu in winter. Yet hospitals are turning away this mild flu. #
• Having a struggle getting a patient accepted at hospital due to their flu-like symptoms. But we brought them for a poss. serious injury #
• @jessnevins @meandmybigmouth would like to chat to you about your book that you are having trouble publishing. He’s a Harper publisher. #
• “They have flu”, they say. “but that’s not why we are bringing them in”, we reply. And so it goes around and around. #
• @Buckman You can get the sack for that? Over here it’s a term of endearment to swear at each other… #
• @qwghlm I’m watching Blur tomorrow #
• @Suw DDOS attacks are illegal, right? #
• @Suw See! This is why ORG need a paramilitary splinter group…<grin> #
• Watching Jon Ronson programme on the Alpha course. I think Derren Brown doing it would have been more fun and insightful. #
• @felix_cohen if only because we really know how to hurt people… #
• @arkadyrose just watching a programme, my immunity to fairy tales is rather entrenched. #
• I want to go to sleep, but there is a bastard mosquito in my flat which is making this impossible. #

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• Sitting on standby at Stratford being fashion critics towards the people heading to work. General consensus is that flats are no good. #
• Also, a lot of women need to have proper fitting bras. It’s easy to work out who when they are running for a bus. #
• . @deanwhitbread it just looks so damn painful… I’m glad my moobs are smallish and that I don’t ever run. #
• Topic of conversation has changed to what we would do/dress like if we changed gender. #
• Crewmate would be a pilot in the RAF and rock the skater look when on leave. #
• I would be a BoHo hippy chick working with metal and multimedia art. Building artistic robots. #
• Ok Pirate walked past the ambulance on Monday. Today a cowboy has just walked past. I suspect I missed the ninja yesterday. #
• Sometimes the best treatment for a fallen little old lady is to let her have a cup of tea before dragging her off to hospital. #
• Somewhat worrying that the psychiatric ward we have attended can’t tell When someone is faking a faint. Therefore we get called… #
• @PostureGuru Experience. Hand-drop technique. Laying with your arms crossed tends to give it away. #
• @bigtitch There is a story right there… #
• If this weather keeps up I’m going to start wearing a skirt. I could do with air on my legs. I need something longer than a kilt though. #
• I appear to be turning into somewhat of a crusader for trying to get UK ebooks published, more whinging emails sent to publishing houses. #
• Just registered a URL. I have a project plan… (Which beggers the question why when I’ve so much else to do…) #

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Yes it is uncomfortably hot at the moment, and yes I have been going to plenty of ‘faint’ and ‘near-faint’ calls. One or two ’swine flu’ cases (for which we have lovely new masks and guidelines to leave people at home - I wonder if this will continue with the normal winter flu’ that are normally much more dangerous)

Thankfully I’ve not had too much lifting of heavy patients, in this weather the sweat dripping from my nose isn’t just because I’m lugging some 20stone+ heart attack victim down five flights of stairs.

OK, it’s mostly due to me lugging some 20stone+ heart attack victim down five flights of stairs - but the heat doesn’t help.

I did have a very tricky extraction the other day. We were sent to a young man with a high temperature who was unable to move. We turned up to find our patient not only at the top of the house, but in a bunkbed.

A bit of talking with him revealed a fear of swine ‘flu as well as an utter inability to move anything below his neck.

He hadn’t been in any trauma, so the chances of a neck injury were slim, likewise the speed at which this had happened made me think that it wasn’t some sort of progressive disease. However he did mention that it had al started with a tingling sensation in his feet that moved up his body.

I was put in mind of a disease that I can spell, yet never pronounce as it uses them furrin words.

Now, if he were on a normal bed we might try to simply manhandle him into our carry chair, unfortunately he’d managed to make it to his bunkbed, which as well as being quite tall had a rail around the outside of it.

Clearance from the bed to the ceiling was around one and a half feet.

Our plan was to get our split scoop under him and get him out that way. What didn’t help was the the room was a sweatbox and out patient was almost glowing due to his high temperature.

I would need to get close to him.

So I found myself straddling the lad while puffing and panting, trying to get the scoop under him - my size twelve boots trying to find balance on the mattress, him possibly breathing droplets of pig death virus in my face (we’d already used out one pair of masks earlier in the shift).

Did I mention that the boy was a shade under six foot and had the build of a rugby player?

It took a long time to get him on the stretcher, and by now I was dripping with sweat. We then had to rotate, carry, twist and use brute force and ignorance to get him down from the bunk.

It was only once we had him down that I did a comparison of me and my crewmate.

I am 6′1″, size twelve boots, has a bad back and knees, tight trousers and a still slightly painful testicle. I’m not as flexible as I used to be. I was the one clambering around the bed in the enclosed space between the mattress and the ceiling.

My crewmate on the other hand is slim, 5′6″, younger than me, pole dances for exercise and used to be a gymnast. She obviously has no painful genitalia, she also has untight trousers and is much, much younger than me.

So, while I was killing myself trying to get the scoop under the patient she was clapping and shouting encouragement from the bedroom doorway*.

We took the boy to hospital and heard nothing more.

Sitting outside the hospital finishing my paperwork I realised that we both needed something cold and sugary to drink - so I called up Control and told them that, while they may well see our ambulance driving down the road to the nearest shop, it was so that we didn’t keel over and drop dead**.

I think Control understood, it may have been the extended time we spent on scene, or it may just have been the breathless manner in which I spoke to them.

—–

*I exaggerate a bit, she wasn’t shouting encouragement.

** I say ‘we’, what I actually mean is me. The one who did all the work.

—–

Before people get the wrong idea, she did indeed help, I exaggerate for effect - but I was still the one stuck on top of the bed and when I queried this with her she just laughed and said that I’m always the first one to climb a wall or get in through a window when the chance appears and she has too much fun watching me get on with it. I make a rod for my own back really…

• You would think that maybe hospital would employ nurses who can read… #
• I think it might be wise to ignore anything I say today as I seem to be in a rather grumpy mood. Still, at least I have insight. #
• Surely 8am in the morning is too early to be dealing with drug addicted prostitutes assaulted by their clients? #
• @BrettKellett true enough. But I’d rather see Pulp… #
• All I can hear on the radio is crews going to ?Swine flu. Lots of masks being used today methinks. #
• And no sooner than I tweet that than I’m sent to a 23 year old with pig death virus. #
• I do so enjoy refusing to speak ‘Starbucks’. It’s ‘large’ not ‘Venti’ #
• @OwenC I do indeed. Of course it is made up from three broken ones. It’s my Frakensteth. #
• @whiskey_kitten To be fair first thing in the morning even managing that can be tricky. Normally it’s grunt and point time. #
• Care home want us to ‘Check someone over’ they called us because the GP didn’t pick up their phone. Perhaps we should try this tactic… #
• Sometimes I wish I was a copper. I’d spend large amounts of time laughing at the allegation-counterallegation dance. #
• @graphiclunarkid Heh. Superb. #
• @LloydDavis Eh? Poor people don’t deserve a choice because…? #
• My first album @Wossy - Laurie Anderson at some time in the early 80’s. Was transfixed by ‘O Superman’. I was obviously deeply damaged kid. #
• RT @LloydDavis phrases that close down an exploration of ideas: “because that’s what real life is like” #
• Of our five jobs, four of them have involved the police. Would have been five out of five if we hadn’t been cancelled off one job. #
• “Well hello Mr Ice cold beer with my name on it, fancy meeting you here”. I am thankfully no longer at work. Afternoon off to relax. #
• RT @arkadyrose I like this t-shirt and heartily endorse its message. ;-) http://bit.ly/2yIh3t #
• @Buckman That’s ale you are talking about. This is cheapish chemicalish lager. #
• I think I may be drinking too many of those lovely little green bottles of lager. Which means I should stay away from Twitter. #
• Yes, anything that requires a credit card @BrettKellett #
• RT @grace_davies compulsory ID cards scrapped http://tinyurl.com/lbmees (That is just bloody superb!) #
• I had 10 beers. Now I have 1. This is why I don’t drink much, once I start I can’t stop. #
• RT @happymrlocust In tonights issue of Darwin Driving. Ford Fiesta, lacking rear-view mirror. Driver using sunvisor vanity mirror instead. #
• RT @greggrunberg Aerobics checklist: tights, leotard, leg warmers, headband, iPod, water bottle, thong, CHECK!! #
• @randompinkness ‘I’m never going to see you again, so kindly fuck off’? Works for me. #
• @randompinkness there is no fear except the fear that you make yourself. #
• I thought my flat was on fire. Actually it was my downstairs neighbour having a barbeque. Would invite myself but there are too many kids #
• Someone please stop the smell of burning animal flesh from reaching my nostrils. I’m hunnnngggrrrryyyy…. #
• @randompinkness less philospophical and more the truth. He can’t hurt you, you don’t care for him, so the only damage comes from within you. #
• @blowdart Only problem is that I’ve used such things before. A good assassin never reuses a weapon. #
• Thinking about starting a cult. Could be interesting and fun. Maybe even profitable. #
• Maybe a cult, maybe a political party based on SCIENCE. #
• I didn’t know that Danny Wallace was twittering as @misterwallace , Thanks @justinfleming #
• Bah! I don’t believe in invisible aliens buried under volcanoes, or whatever, I mean real @bengoldacre type science, rather than quick fixes #
• @blowdart Yep - I could go for some of those cult babes… Flirty fishing for the Great Leader. #
• Damnit! Down to my last beer - where in the world will I continue to get the great inspiration to become a cult leader from now? #
• @ScottBieser Which would…maybe raise global temperatures? #
• @ScottBieser That is, indeed, very true. #
• Just once I’d like to see a TV programme or film where a drug company aren’t all unmitigated shits. #
• @thirdmanuk *cough* Gerald Gardner *cough* #
• Buggerit! I forgot that cult leaders need charisma. Something I can only fake over the internets. #
• Off to shave, then off to bed. Yet another early morning at work tomorrow to pick up battered drug-users and the like. #
• Did I eat too many carrots as a child, or is it really civil twilight at 10pm? (Yes, I know the carrots thing is a myth). #

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These are my links for June 28th through June 30th:

• YouTube - Sewer Cam - Unknown icky stuff. Is it some sort of new lifeform, or just weird slimemold colonies?
• Tone - An astoundingly fun little web-thing for creating Philip Glass type music.
• YouTube - Luke Jackson: Goodbye London - Animated video for Luke Jackson's 'Goodbye London'. Rather nice actually.

• Fuckit - Today’s blogpost has vanished from my system. #
• I have an air conditioned ambulance! Mwahahahaha. #
• You can’t beat the delicious tang of rat urine in a patient’s house. Especially in this heat. #
• Why has a pirate just walked past my ambulance? #
• Ah-hah! Just got a message down our vehicle terminal that there is a new flowchart (version 7) for dealing with the sweating pig death virus #
• @warrenellis Told you about the burning hail over the weekend. It’s Mingpocalypse #
• @randompinkness Sorry about that. I can be a bastard sometimes. #
• Apparently my new claim to fame is making young women who I’ve never met cry. Oh well, it’s nice to be good at something I suppose. #

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We are led into the living room by the patient’s daughter, she shows us her mother - small, birdlike and perched in a chair. A tiny thing of skin and bones in a nightdress, head bent over, not making eye contact.

The GP had called us, the daughter handed me the letter the GP had left.

‘Weight loss, chest infection, depression. Lost the will to live’. The letter said more, polite words to introduce this woman to the doctor at the hospital, but this is what it boiled down to.

Barely able to stand, unable to walk, we had been called to take this woman into hospital.

We explained what we were going to do and lifted her incredibly light body into our carry chair. Younger than my mother, but looking so much older we wrapped her in a blanket to keep her warm.

Into the ambulance and the normal tests were run, pulse, temperature, blood sugar. We took her blood pressure, her arm so thin we had to use the cuff we normally use for small children. Through this poking and prodding the head never lifted up, the eyes barely opened, the mouth spoke no words. Her vital signs were normal, this was an illness of the mind.

You can tell when there is someone with depression in the room, it is an aura that all but the most oblivious can notice - the people around them talk quietly, walk softly, try not to disturb them. No-one wants to say the wrong thing, hurt the person more than they are already hurting.

The ambulance moves off and I start with some simple questions, yes or no answers, my voice kept soft.

She answers and emboldened I start to talk to her about other things. Slowly her eyes open and her head lifts up. She tells me about tragedies, about illness, about loss. When you have depression it is impossible to remember the good times, only the times that keep you low, under the thumb of this illness.

I wish there was something I could say to make her feel better, but I know that nothing I say can help. I want to tell her that it will be all right, that one day she will feel happier - but I can’t say that because it probably isn’t true. I can make sick people happier just by talking with them, but I know that this illness has me beaten. She will sit there and she will refuse food and she will probably die.

And I feel powerless to help her.

—–

This is the second attempt at this, the first one vanished into the ether and was, I think, a lot better than this post.

There is a week of predicted high temperatures in the UK. The recent mostly high temperatures have resulted in us being exceptionally busy over the last few days - 5,200+ calls per day.

Please follow the advice given and try to keep cool.

Heat exhaustion (AKA heat prostration and heat collapse). This is the most common heat-related injury, and its basic mechanism is the same as heat cramps. The basic causes are heat exposure, stress, and fatigue. (It doesn’t have to be particularly hot before heat exhaustion is a possibility — wearing multiple layers of clothing that limit the effectiveness of sweating will do the job just fine. So, if you’re out hiking, take off layers; when you stop to rest, put on layers.)

The signs and symptoms of heat exhaustion are:

• Dizziness, weakness, fainting, nausea, and headache.

• Onset while working in a high heat/high humidity/poor ventilation environment and sweating heavily. Infants, the elderly, and the unacclimatized may experience onset at rest.

• Cold, clammy, skin; ashen pallor.

• Dry tongue; thirst.

• Vital signs within normal limits, although the pulse may be rapid and the diastolic blood pressure (that’s the bottom number; the pressure when the heart isn’t contracting) may be low.

• Normal or slightly elevated body temperature.

What to do about all this: Take off any excessive layers of clothing, particularly around the head and neck. Get out of the hot environment (say, into the back of a nice air-conditioned ambulance). Drink a liter or so of water (slowly, so nausea doesn’t develop). Loosen restrictive clothing, lie down with your feet up, and use a fan for cooling.

I suggest that you go and read the whole article from the excellent Making Light then spend a few hours going through the archives. Although good luck trying to find an ambulance that has working air conditioning - I spent a long hot day in an LDV ambulance with the windows wound down gradually going deaf from the sirens. In a contest between hearing loss and headstroke, I guess I picked hearing loss*. Air-con seldom works in the newer ambulances either, and by the time it gets fixed there is normally snow on the ground…

—–

*All of which makes me laugh at the people who cower when we go past on sirens, remember folks - I’m sitting under the bloody things all day and if the air-con doesn’t work I’ll have the window wound down working on my ‘trucker’s tan‘.

• @warrenellis Really? I’m probably on first name terms with most of them… #
• I think that having to learn regex and grep in order to redesign my desktop is taking prevarication a step too far. #
• . @warrenellis You are missing some lovely burning hail down here in the civilised South. #
• Dear London. When you see a big dark cloud overhead get under sturdy cover 1/2″ hail is dropping on E London at the moment. Very cooling. #
• RT @BrettKellett Weather conditions in London indicate Moon / Earth collision in 24 hours according to Dr Zarkov. #
• http://bit.ly/VUIrr
  See, I speak truth. (Wow iPhone is pretty good at doing this sort of rapid sharing) #
• I’ve spent a large chunk of today making my laptop look smart. I really should knuckle down and do some damn work http://yfrog.com/59invjj #
• @katebevan Geektool (Mac) and some Terminal wrangling. #

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